i know i haven’t blogged in a while. The Boss hasn’t required it of me, and when we’re communicating really well, it doesn’t seem all that necessary anyway. Ya know?
Anyway. i have some stuff on my mind from reading forums on FetLife, and there are some things i just don’t ‘get’ that seem really common.
How [...]
Posts Tagged ‘extemporaneous’
Just Venting
Posted in Ramble, angst, bdsm, tagged bdsm, extemporaneous, vent on September 24, 2008 | 1 Comment »
The Power of Focused Intent (or what i learned at the MAsT meeting)
Posted in bdsm, tagged bdsm, brainwashing, extemporaneous, MAsT, slave journal, slave training on September 7, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Two missed daily entries in the month of September! It’s only the first week, too. Hee. Maybe the Boss is planning to get slack with me (kidding).
Since i was allowed to go to bed last night (okay – who am i kidding. i was passed out, drooling, on the couch by 9:30 PM) without a [...]
The Next Step
Posted in Ramble, angst, bdsm, tagged bdsm, Body Mod, extemporaneous, slave journal, slave training on August 29, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
i want to explain how i feel, but i can’t find the words.
i’m weepy. i want to blame hormones. i want to blame stress. i want to blame feeling sickly.
i think the reason is much more perverse than that.
You know me. You know how much i crave the next step. i’m not talking [...]
Venting
Posted in Ramble, tagged extemporaneous, rant, vent on August 26, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Okay. So PMS makes me cranky. i’m so annoyed.
This isn’t directed at you, Sir. This just is…
Rant Number 1: My dad annoys the hell out of me. He opened your Penthouse subscription, brought it to me, and asked me to “have them folks stop this before they charge me for it” blah blah. He… what? [...]
What kind of person agrees to be a slave, anyway?
Posted in Ramble, bdsm, tagged bdsm, extemporaneous, Ramble, random, slavery on August 9, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
i’m a slave.
i define this for anyone (not saying my definition is ‘right’, but it’s the one i use) by saying ‘if there is another person to whom you have given the final say over your actions and choices (always; you make no exceptions) – then you’re a slave.’ i have given that power [...]
Sucking it up
Posted in angst, bdsm, tagged angst, bdsm, extemporaneous, punishment on July 30, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
i think one of the hardest things about starting this new regime is the roller coaster i’m on while it sorts itself out. i know some folks love roller coasters, but i have always hated them. i dislike feeling on top of the world at one moment and then lower than dog feces the next.
There [...]
The Body Knows
Posted in Ramble, bdsm, tagged bdsm, extemporaneous, s&m, scene report on July 20, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
More pain again last night. i didn’t get a chance to mention the pain session the night before last, but we’re three for three his last few nights home. Again, i find myself wishing he didn’t work out of town. i miss having him home every single night.
As with most pain sessions we have, the [...]
Resistance is Futile
Posted in Ramble, angst, bdsm, tagged angst, bdsm, extemporaneous, internal enslavement on July 19, 2008 | 1 Comment »
There’s a term used within the lexicon of Internal Enslavement that describes the balking a submissive does as she finds herself losing more and more control. Resistance. It’s not intentional. Experiencing it is often a sign that internal enslavement is actually happening.
It’s what has me crying at the drop of the hat. The idea that [...]
Lie to me; i promise i’ll believe
Posted in Ramble, angst, bdsm, tagged angst, bdsm, extemporaneous on July 17, 2008 | 3 Comments »
Trust has been an issue between us. Not the kind of trust where i think he’s sneaking around, seeing someone else, living a second life – nothing like that. It’s the kind of trust where you can feel that things are being handled, where you believe he’ll follow through with what he’s told you, and [...]
Rambling While i Have the Chance
Posted in Ramble, bdsm, tagged bdsm, extemporaneous on July 17, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Thursdays are so long.
All i can think about is what he has in mind for tonight. A Come to Jesus Meeting. The Big Kick-Off. The beginning, and of course with each beginning there is an end somewhere.
He wants me to wear my collar again. The girls won’t think too much about it, though C might [...]
