i know i haven’t blogged in a while. The Boss hasn’t required it of me, and when we’re communicating really well, it doesn’t seem all that necessary anyway. Ya know?
Anyway. i have some stuff on my mind from reading forums on FetLife, and there are some things i just don’t ‘get’ that seem really common.
How [...]
Archive for the ‘angst’ Category
Just Venting
Posted in Ramble, angst, bdsm, tagged bdsm, extemporaneous, vent on September 24, 2008 | 1 Comment »
The Next Step
Posted in Ramble, angst, bdsm, tagged bdsm, Body Mod, extemporaneous, slave journal, slave training on August 29, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
i want to explain how i feel, but i can’t find the words.
i’m weepy. i want to blame hormones. i want to blame stress. i want to blame feeling sickly.
i think the reason is much more perverse than that.
You know me. You know how much i crave the next step. i’m not talking [...]
Daily Entry
Posted in Daily Entry, Required, angst, bdsm, tagged angst, bdsm, brain dump, daily entry, Required on August 10, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
1. Something i wish i could have shared with you today: i wish you’d been here to help get the 19yo moved back in. The chick who was with my ex (and wants to be WITH my ex) kept making jokes about you being younger than me. i finally said something along the lines of [...]
Daily Entry
Posted in Daily Entry, Required, angst, bdsm, tagged angst, bdsm, brain dump, daily entry, Required, training on August 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
1. Something that i was glad to have shared with you today: i love, love, love that the boys both went to bed early for a change tonight and we spent some time talking, and taking those photos for my fetlife avatar (and yours!). It was fun and something we don’t usually do.
2. The most [...]
Sucking it up
Posted in angst, bdsm, tagged angst, bdsm, extemporaneous, punishment on July 30, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
i think one of the hardest things about starting this new regime is the roller coaster i’m on while it sorts itself out. i know some folks love roller coasters, but i have always hated them. i dislike feeling on top of the world at one moment and then lower than dog feces the next.
There [...]
Resistance is Futile
Posted in Ramble, angst, bdsm, tagged extemporaneous, bdsm, angst, internal enslavement on July 19, 2008 | 1 Comment »
There’s a term used within the lexicon of Internal Enslavement that describes the balking a submissive does as she finds herself losing more and more control. Resistance. It’s not intentional. Experiencing it is often a sign that internal enslavement is actually happening.
It’s what has me crying at the drop of the hat. The idea that [...]
Lie to me; i promise i’ll believe
Posted in Ramble, angst, bdsm, tagged angst, bdsm, extemporaneous on July 17, 2008 | 3 Comments »
Trust has been an issue between us. Not the kind of trust where i think he’s sneaking around, seeing someone else, living a second life – nothing like that. It’s the kind of trust where you can feel that things are being handled, where you believe he’ll follow through with what he’s told you, and [...]
