It’s been interesting anyway.
Thank you for giving me a pass last night on the entry. i was so exhausted that i really couldn’t keep my eyes open.
Sunday night was bad. It was the worst for me. You were so, so, so angry (over something that you normally would never have been)… and just totally over-reacted. The physical punishment would have hurt and angered me as it was, but ignoring me all night (as well) was too much. i felt horrible. i really hated you for a while. Seriously.
i’m glad that you eventually apologized, but i wish you would have said something first thing on Monday once you realized that you’d gone too far. My ass will heal, but my feelings are going to be raw for a long time. That’s a trust-thing right there. i trust that you aren’t going to lose it on me. i have to be able to trust that. i don’t know. It was just very bad.
As bad as that was, i had a wonderful time going out with you, D and t. Bowling was so much fun, and i enjoyed the dinner, drinks, the walk, and sitting and visiting until it got to be too late. It was just what the doctor ordered, and i’m glad it was ruined by the previous night. The worst part was that i literally had not slept AT ALL the night before. i was just too upset and i just sat awake with the bedroom lights on all night. Well, i kind of leaned on my side (not sitting on my butt), but you know what i mean.
By the time we got home last night i was so exhausted that i was falling asleep on the drive back up the mountain. My eyes just would not stay open. i do appreciate you letting me go to bed without having to stay up and write-up an entry.
i didn’t get a ton of sleep last night, but while i slept it was like the dead. i needed it. It was a restorative sleep, and i don’t often feel like i get those.
Today was a busy-freakin’ day! Getting the girls off, doing my work-out, going shopping with the boys (and no other adult!), getting everyone lunch, having the 22yo over, making a big dinner, keeping track of all my food for you, and staying on diet! Getting the boys bathed and ready for bed, and talking with you about Sunday night over IMs…Wow. i’m more tired just remembering it. The baby was such a pill today, too. i’m going to blame his molars.
He was my most frustrating of the day. Realizing that 1200 calories won’t be as hard as i imagined it would was an “aha!” moment. It was the first time i thought i might not fail at this. 
i want to succeed so badly. Also? The 17yo was a rock star and helped above and beyond tonight.
Tomorrow: The 19yo is staying in the valley over tonight and until she has to work up here tomorrow at 5:00. The 17yo has school. The 22yo is coming back up to drop off my dad’s dog (post-op) and she’ll be here right at dinnertime (surprise!) i have a bunch of cleaning and organizing to do. Every room of the house needs a good cleaning. The laundry is scary. i didn’t hit on any of my “this-week tasks” you sent me this morning, so i need to get started on those. i need to work-out, track my food and stay on diet. My dad wants me to call his cell-phone company and see what’s going on with his billing.
He was all paid up last month and now he has two-month’s worth due. i looked at the bill and couldn’t figure out what happened. In an effort to “go green” they stopped printing up account activity reports. Laziness disguised as political correctness – FTW.
Anyway… i think that’s that. Oh! i decided, since i don’t need the pills for birth control – just for hormone control – i’m not going to take them daily. i think the dose is too high. i’m going to try for every other day and see how that goes. It’s been working and the sick-in-my tummy feeling has been gone since i stopped taking them daily. Unless you see a reason why you want me to do something else, i’m going to go with that.
i love you so much. i’m so glad its a short week! Two more days and you’ll be back home. i still have everything crossed that you get that job closer-to-home. A new vehicle, new laptop, new blackberry, corner office, quarterly bonus, you get to be the boss of the entire office, AND be home every single night?!? Oh please, oh please, ohpleaseohpleaseohplease… Interview on Friday. You really deserve this. i might not have felt that way a year ago, but i sure do now. You could rock that job.
