Training

It occurred to me today, while i was putting the 1YO down for his nap, that Sir is brainwashing me.

i like it.

Maybe brainwashing is too strong a term with too negative connotations, but regardless, that is what it is. He’s controlling my actions and in doing so, he’s garnering a desired result in my way of thinking. i think that all ’slave training’ is mind control (or brainwashing, if you like).
i came into this relationship with Sir already very ’slavey’. i’d been in a M/s relationship and i had a lot of excellent habits left over from that. i was On The Ball. There wasn’t much ‘training’ that Sir felt needed to be done with me.

In retrospect, i think that may have been a real problem with us. Slave training (mind control, whatever) really binds a slave to her Master. Those changes and preferences that are impressed into the slave’s psyche make up a lot of the bond between Master and slave.

These some odd years down the line, past many ups and downs, Sir has found there are some things that he desires from me as a slave, and he’s focusing his efforts on those areas. Maybe way back when, i didn’t need so much work in those departments… maybe i did, but the blush of a new relationship served to camouflage my failings. Either way, he’s working on righting some things that he considers wrong in my behavior.

i have a feeling that this is working so well that he will branch off into other areas of ‘training’. i hope so.

This is the most level, balanced and secure that i have felt in a long while. i may not always appreciate his methods, but i can not deny his results. i do feel more feminine and sexy. i do feel more like a woman/slave and less like a mom. i am feeling more obedient and less quarrelsome.

i think that realizing the changes in my behavior and noting that they are a direct result of Sir’s actions have served to make me feel more ‘owned’ than i have in so, so long.

It feels wonderful.